Young Fathers

Finding out that your partner is pregnant, whether it was expected or not is a life changing moment. There is plenty of advice and help out there for mums-to-be but much less for dads-to-be. Unfortunately teenage fathers have been painted as 'bad guys' in the press and media but hopefully you are reading this as you don't want to be stereotyped.

Here is some useful information about what to expect and how you can ensure you are as much a part of the baby's life as its mother.

rights and responsibilities

As the father of the child you have a legal responsibility to financially support your child  day to day living costs until they reach the time where they leave school. This can be done either through an agreement with the child's mother or through the Child Support Agency (www.csa.gov.uk/).

As a father you can get parental responsibility for the child by:

• registering the birth jointly with the mother
• make a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
• gain a parental responsibility order from a court
• are appointed as the child's guardian
• marry the mother 

telling your family

Having to tell your parents or carers that you have had a relationship that has resulted in a pregnancy can be a very hard topic to bring up. Many people worry that their parents or carers will be upset and angry, However if you think that they may put unwanted pressure upon you then you may wish to talk to another adult first. Here at the HPCC we can provide a listening, non judgemental trained advisors to listen and give helpful advice.

There are many ways of telling your parents or carers, first approach your partner as it can be easier breaking the news together. If you are no longer with your partner, you may want to ask someone else to be present when you tell your parents or carers. If you are worried about how they may react then you may choose to meet them in a public place or even start by writing them a letter. You just need to be careful and try to avoid them finding out from someone else as they may not appreciate this.

Try to be honest about how it happened as this will help your parents or carers to see that you are taking responsibility for your part. 

how you can help 

There are many things that your baby's mother will go through before the birth of your child and you can be a part of these. Besides helping you to feel more involved it will show the mother that you are serious about  helping raise the child.

• You can go along to the scans with the mother of your child
• You can both pick out baby equipment (such as a pushchair or baby toys)
• You can help decorate the child's bedroom
• You can attend antenatal appointments with the mother of your child
• You can also agree to be there at the birth of your baby